Living Unscripted

I used to believe that dreaming and surrender couldn’t exist at the same time.

In my mind, if I allowed myself to dream, I automatically attached myself to a specific outcome. I pictured how things would unfold, how they should unfold, and when they didn’t happen that way, I felt deeply disappointed. That disappointment taught me the wrong lesson.

So I tried something else.

I stopped hoping. I stopped wishing. I told myself that this was surrender, that if I didn’t want anything, I couldn’t be let down. Last year, I practiced that version of surrender wholeheartedly.

And I failed there too.

Because that’s not what surrender actually is.

God doesn’t tell us not to dream. He doesn’t tell us not to hope. He tells us to dream, believe, have faith, and leave the rest to Him. Hope isn’t the problem. Control is. The issue was never that I dreamed; it was that I decided in advance how my dreams were supposed to arrive.

Hope is necessary. Wishing matters. You need enough belief to take steps, to try, to move forward. You can’t reach anything if you refuse to imagine it first. But surrender comes in when you release the outcome, when you allow what you’re hoping for to manifest in the way that is actually meant for you, not the way you scripted in your head.

That’s where I am now.

I’m living for today.

That doesn’t mean I’m immune to negativity. It doesn’t mean I don’t have moments of doubt, frustration, or fear. It means I don’t sit there anymore. I don’t spiral. I don’t live in the “what ifs.” I focus on what I can do today, to stay grounded, to stay present, to stay positive as best I can.

My days now end with gratitude. I write. I list what was good, even when the day wasn’t. I make it a point to highlight the good that came out of the bad. That practice has changed something in me.

And then something unexpected happened.

Someone reached out to me and shared that they were feeling anxious. And without even thinking, I passed on the very wisdom I’ve been practicing myself. I reminded them to live for today. To focus on what’s in front of them. To take the day as it comes instead of borrowing worry from tomorrow.

It hit me then how real this journey has been.

This isn’t about pretending life is perfect. It’s about understanding that dreaming and surrender can coexist. You can hope without gripping. You can believe without demanding. You can do your part fully and still trust that God will do the rest.

That’s the balance I was missing before.

And that’s the place I’m choosing to live now.