Wow it’s been 4 years since I have written a blog in here. So much has happened in the world. I feel like life paused in a sense yet kept moving. I don’t really even know how to explain that, but given we all experienced the pandemic, I think most people will understand what I mean.
I have been feeling out of sorts lately, as though I am not living my purpose. I started to do this years ago and, in a sense, I feel like putting my thoughts into words helped me and so many people sharing the same experiences as me. I stopped for a while because I was afraid to be vulnerable around people. Especially people that actually know me in real life. Even people that contributed to the pain I speak of. However, I realize that being raw is necessary. It doesn’t matter who reads it or what people say, there are people that need my experiences to help them cope and get through their own. In no way am I a professional at this. I just had to figure out how to rise above my emotions and troubles. I can’t even lie and say I did it gracefully. There were times that I was a hot mess. I may have handled things immaturely and it hindsight, even those reactions are a lesson.
With this blog I want to take it back to the beginning. Though the emotions aren’t as raw as if I was writing the story as it happened, the memory is still vivid in my mind. I want to detail life from the beginning of divorce to now, as my children recently graduated high school. Life as I know it is changing and those feelings of emptiness creep in my heart at times. Empty nesting is real and I want to be here helping us all get through it together.
I hope whoever stumbles on this blog leaves feeling better than when you found it.
I start to panic about things and then this quote plays in my head reminding me that my only job is to do the best that I can in all that I do and if it’s meant for me, nothing will sabotage it. It reminds me that if things go awry it’s temporary and eventually the water will level out and I will no longer be drowning in whatever is happening. I will eventually float on my back and coast back to where I’m supposed to be or where I’m supposed to be headed. If you really think about those words “You can’t mess something up that is meant for you” it takes the pressure off of trying to manipulate your outcomes. It should take the edge off of worrying about the unknown. If I think of the jobs I didn’t get or the relationships that didn’t work out I realize how much better off I am that it didn’t. I find comfort now in these words because I realize that no matter what, I’m going to be ok. So why worry about outcomes that aren’t up to me? Just do the best that you can and leave the rest up to fate.
Affirmation Of Visions 